I receive many email queries. Some are from those who understand the importance of a strong, confident offer. Other emails, though, lack such confidence and as a result, are deleted immediately.

If you’re a business owner, entrepreneur, solopreneurs, or startup, you probably send out dozens of emails a month. Many of them may be sales pitches and a few may be responses to queries.

The question is: what impression do you give to the recipient of your email?

Telltale Signs of Desperation

Sometimes desperation is easy to spot.

Here are a few examples:

I am so glad you responded…

I am honored to finally have made your acquaintance…

Thank you so much for responding to me…

I know you’re a big “guru,” so I hope you’ll take some time to hear from a “little guy”…

We may be a small startup, but we’ll do anything for your business…

Give us a chance…

Please allow us to give you this free offer…

In all of those statements, there is a hidden cry for validation. Please tell me that I’m worth your attention!

Most professionals, venture capitalists, and even your Aunt Zelda would be tempted to give your head a quick smack while saying, “Believe in yourself! Then we’ll talk.”

Shorter Is Better

I once had a supervisor who showed me how to write shorter emails, even going so far as claiming she saved time by discarding the greeting and signature. I really don’t know how much time is saved by not typing a few words, but I got the point.

Shorter emails work better when you’re trying to get someone’s attention.

When you send an email to someone you’ve never met, you want to keep it brief. They need to be able to easily and quickly scan your email to see if your offer interests them. This doesn’t happen if they have to slog through three dense paragraphs.

Use shorter sentences.

Use shorter paragraphs.

And use emphasis to help break up the text, making it more visually appealing.

Finally, adding bullet points to demonstrate benefits is also a great way to catch someone’s attention.

You Are The Expert And Have Something Valuable To Offer

I’ll share something I learned in sales: you have something valuable and in presenting that to your prospect, you need to have an attitude of helpfulness.

In other words, you don’t pitch your product or service from a position of weakness (“please, give me a chance to explain why this is a good product or service…”).

Instead, you show strength by expressing your offer in this way:

Dear Bill,

I noticed your company just acquired the ABC Inc. Congratulations! I know that ABC had a strong line of specialty widgets, but wasn’t as successful with promoting them.

My specialty is social media promotion and public relations. I have strong connections with media writers in this widget field and would be happy to have a conversation about how I can help your organization receive more exposure.

Can we schedule a call soon?

Again, congratulations on your company’s expansion.

 Cheers,

John Smith

Short. To the point. And meaningful.

Showing confidence in your communication will let the other person know that you believe in your offering and believe it will help her business.

People are drawn to confidence. It instills confidence because they want a trustworthy service or product.

So be confident. Let all of your marketing communication reflect it and then watch your prospects respond. It’s a beautiful thing.